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| Well, amidst nursing school, marriage, house handling while hubby is gone and doggy raising, somewhere in there I have not been taking care of myself. Whether it be the excess of Ramen noodles while my husband is gone (due to not wanting to cook/clean or have too many left overs!) or the simple inactivity of sitting in class for hours a week - I feel unhealthy --- not sick.....just ICK.....I did some situps tonight to remind myself I had ab muscles and they were deceptively hard.....When I am working an 8 hour shift at the hospital I come home feeling like I have run a marathon - but I don't actually take time out of my schedule to exercise - I KNOW this is bad thinking, but it is hard to rearrange things right now to fit what I know I should do - rather than just what I have to do and an occasionally WANT to do. I can function fine - mow the lawn, clean the house, stay on my feet for 8 hours at a time at the hospital -- but if there was a grade for actual exercise I would get a F - - !!!! I keep saying I am going to change this - but then never do..... maybe someday....hopefully sooner rather than later...... Life is just moving too quickly.... | | |
| ....how this MK life provides for having multiple family members that aren't REALLY family.....my husband was commenting last night how "strange" it is that I have so many "Aunt so and so or Uncle who's his face" who aren't really related -- and how I tell my good girl friends "I love you" before getting off the phone with them --- I really do feel blessed to have so many family members - even if none of them share the same parents or grandparents as I do.......In fact, since I went to boarding school at 14, my friends knew me better than my parents did in most regards - then coming to the US for college shortly there after, I filled my life with more stand-in family........my parents are on home assignment now and it is almost sad how strange it is to have them close by......our relationship is really great when they are in Africa - but when they are here, it adds a dynamic that none of us are used to - proximity. It has provided for some rather interesting interactions -
I feel largely different now than I was at 14 when I went to boarding school - and though it is no ones fault, and I don't regret my upbringing, my parents missed out on some of the crucial growing up moments......I dont hold it against them - but its like how do you possibly catch up on years of missed time in just a 6 month furlough......Its hard for them to realize that I've made a life for myself here - and sadly it doesn't include them (because they aren't here) and it is hard for me to now remember to try to include them in it -- it is really strange......Maybe I'm a bad daughter, but I like my life how it is - and I like who I have become, and feel that God has me where He wants me to be -- and having family around who still seems to expect me to be and treats me like the same little girl who left the house at 14 doesn't sit well with me......
I try to have patience and understanding --- but in a chocked full day of nursing school/work/taking care of a house and husband it is hard to find the time needed to kind of hold my parents' hand and catch them up to date in my life.....I don't know if i'm just being wrong in my thinking....
As much as I love having all the family I do that isn't necessarily blood related -- it is hard to have my REAL family not know me or seemed to be too interested in getting caught up to who I am TODAY instead of who I was years ago..... | | |
| ...you know it has been way too long since you have updated when you can't figure out HOW to create a new weblog.......um.....yeah......
So my last blog was about military and the sacrifice that entails - and indeed I have experienced that sacrifice....now however, I am blessed to have my husband at home for an extended period of time - it makes me even further appreciate those who keep sending their love ones over to fight for our freedom on a daily basis. I have friends who very rarely get to see their husbands - yet they live their suffering silently except within our community of military wives. I wish the general public had a better understanding of how this whole 'military life' really works.....
In other news, I have been learning about reconciliation and God's plan for healing relationships according to his example of healing the gap between us sinners and our Father in Heaven......I believe that reconciliation and forgiveness means that the door flies wide open again for a relationship, just as Christ accepts the prodigal son - However, whether it is our own personal pride or just simply because it is easier to ignore those who hurt us, this model of forgiveness doesn't really happen often - Of course in our closest relationships of father to son, husband to wife, forgiveness comes easier -but it is the loving of our neighbor that we fall short.
So what then when you offer and pursue this type of forgiveness with a relationship and are shut down? Even if the other person is a pursuer of Christ, maybe until you REALLY experience what it is like to BE the prodigal it is hard to understand what forgiveness and reconciliation is meant to be.
Despite the pain - I choose to keep pursuing just as Christ pursued me.......to keep the door open and the lights on even when it would be easier to forget existence all together. You can't force someone to allow you back into their life after there has been a falling out -- but I feel I am devaluing God's plan for reconciliation between christian sisters and brothers if I didn't keep trying........
Golly though - I don't know anything harder than offering yourself as a friend to someone who has hurt you - being rejected by that person......and still keep trying........ | | |
| i would say that people who are in the military and never go anywhere - are never separated from the ones they love for any considerable amount of time -- those people don't get it...... Military is sacrifice. Military is separation. Military is more than a 9 to 5.... If you aren't experiencing all of that......I don't think you should get the honor of wearing the uniform. What do you think? | | |
| There comes this point in a relationship where you love the person so much you just can't explain it....there aren't words to describe the love or committment -- or to somehow express your excitement and awe that you even are in this place... How am I supposed to write vows?? When there is no way I can even explain how much I love Kyle? | | |
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